At Long Last
by TheWanderingLily
Summary: Sesshomaru remembers what he lost so long ago as despair begins to eat him alive, but help will come to him in the most unexpected of ways-if he is only willing to believe what so many children do not. SesshomaruXOC


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters and this was not published to make a profit of any kind.

I do not have a beta reader for this story, so all mistakes are my own.

He would never admit it to anyone, but he was lonely.

In truth, he was no stranger to this particular emotion, though he had somewhat learned to handle how it affected him in the last five-hundred years of his long life. Born to a mother who did not love her son as she should have and a father that wished to test him more than teach him, it was no wonder turmoil followed him like a lost pup. And it had only worsened when his father had left him and his mother for a human woman.

For awhile though, he had been content, with his ever-faithful servant Jaken, then the young orphan Rin, and eventually the demon slayer Kohaku joining him on his journey to defeat Naraku throughout Feudal Japan. Their presence had lessened the sorrow that often tormented him, but that feeling had quickly returned in full force once Kohaku had asked him for Rin's hand in marriage six years after Naraku's demise. He had relented, for he knew the young man could protect her and he had no doubt that the demon slayer loved her, but it hadn't made letting go of his little companion any easier. For she had softened his heart and helped to teach him compassion, but this too was not something he would admit aloud.

Recently, however, a heavy weight had begun to claw at his heart once again and at the first hint of apple blossoms on the breeze, his loneliness quickly turned into despair that threatened to bring him to his knees. _"No! I must get there before I lose myself to this. Before I allow myself to—" _He stopped the thought abruptly with a shake of his head to clear his mind and continued wandering through the trees towards his destination. He was suddenly grateful he had told Jaken to remain behind with Rin for this particular trip. There was no doubt that the small demon would be panicked to see his Master so out of sorts.

Though he had avoided this place for many long years, he knew he could do so for no longer. He needed to see it again_—_the place where he had last seen _her_.

She had waited for him here once, with her back to him and her silhouette illuminated by the full moon—so like the one that rose above him now—with her long silver curls blowing in the wind.

He had been so relieved and happy to see her there atop the hill. And though his emotions had not readily show upon his face, he believed she had known his feelings when she'd turned to look at him; for there was no other being who knew him as well as she had then.

Though there was nothing spectacular about this little clearing near the border of his lands, he could not deny that he was calmed as he left the protection of the trees to continue towards the small hill, with the moon illuminating his path as if beckoning him forward.

But with every step closer to the center of the meadow, that same, great feeling of despair pierced his cold heart once again, causing him to stagger and tremble. Surrounded by blossoming apple trees on all sides, the great demon inhaled the delicate scent that reminded him so much of the woman he'd lost; the woman he'd claimed as his own on this hill so long ago.

As part of demon custom when one wished to claim a mate, he had bitten her on the neck to seal their bond and though he should have expected it, he could not keep a strangled gasp from escaping him when he'd felt the acute sting of her canine's as they embedded deeply into the skin of his shoulder to reciprocate the sentiment.

"_**I belong to you now, Sesshomaru, but I will not leave this haven of ours until you are mine in every sense of the word as well. It is, after all, only fair my Lord."**_

He could remember the repressed laughter in her voice and the mischievous glint that had gleamed brightly in her golden eyes as she'd teased him.

"_It had been a bold move on her part,"_ he mused sadly, absentmindedly rubbing the old bite mark on his left shoulder, "_but I could hardly mind." _ It had indeed been fair and he had never been so pleased as he had been in that moment. Most demons would have been angered by her boldness, as most females were submissive to their mates by nature, but he had simply accepted it for what it was. He would proudly wear the pale crescent scar that symbolized just how _very_ much he belonged to her for the rest of his life without regret.

But his happiness was not to last. For shortly after their claiming, her father's stronghold in the Eastern lands had been attacked and she, ever loyal to her homeland, had left to aid her clan.

Though he had wished to fight alongside his mate and his father, as Inu no Taisho had led a great host of demons to attend to his comrades, he had been left in the west to defend their own stronghold, for the threat was yet unknown and many were wary of another attack on the western front. And out of respect for his father, he had reluctantly agreed to remain and had settled himself down for a long wait.

But Sesshomaru would never forget the look of pain that marred his father's features upon his return. And to this day, he could still feel the ache in his heart flare at the memory that now assaulted his vision.

"**Where is she, father?"**

"**Sesshom_—_" his father had started, but the young lord, after waiting for quite some time already, had been impatient and had interrupted the Great Dog Demon before he could finish.**

"**Why is she not with you? I do not sense her near."**

**His father had merely sighed deeply and held out his hand. Still waiting for a reply, it had taken Sesshomaru a few moments to realize his father was clasping something in his palm. Suddenly fearing what his father would present to him, he had tried in vain to ask once more, to avoid facing what he knew could not be good news, but it was his turn to be interrupted as his father spoke to him again.**

"**Sesshomaru, take them," ****his father had whispered as he forced his son's clenched fist to open, which allowed the items to be placed into Sesshomaru's now open palm.**** "I'm sorry my son, but her scent vanished shortly after we found these. Her father asked that I pass them on to you."**

**Though Sesshomaru had been listening, his gaze was now completely focused on the objects in his hand. The bright red tassels she had worn in her hair stood out against his pale skin that had now drained of all color. **

**And before a conscious decision had been made, he sped past his father towards the Eastern border, with the two matching tassels clutched in his hand.**

**He had reached the Eastern stronghold hours later and though he knew he should stop to speak with her father, Lord Isshin, he could not bring himself to cease his search until he had confirmed his own father's words.**

**He had followed her scent and retraced her steps repeatedly, only to find nothing after every thorough search he conducted. And upon the realization that she had truly vanished without so much as a trace, his body had shifted into that of a large, white dog and shortly thereafter, an agonizing howl had wrenched from his throat to pierce the air.**

Even now, he still searched for her scent wherever he traveled, but he told no one of his lost mate. The only signs of his continuing devotion to her was the crescent scar on his shoulder, that he kept covered, and the two red tassels that adorned the ends of the cuirass across his chest-though no one but Lord Isshin and his own dead father knew to whom they truly belonged.

But after 300 years of nothing, his heart had slowly turned cold and impenetrable, his manner cruel and unforgiving, showing no indication of the emotions that he'd once felt while at her side.

But here, in the middle of a meadow surrounded by apple blossoms, the great daiyokai fell to his knees, his head bent low towards the ground.

"Hisana, forgive me, " he whispered, his voice thick with repressed emotion. "Forgive me for failing you."

And for only the second time in over three centuries, though their presence went unnoticed by the Lord of the West, tears slipped down his face to stain the ground.

I will say that this is the first Inuyasha story I've ever written and while I would appreciate reviews, please be kind. =)


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